It's happened. To my kid. And it all hit the fan this morning. I guess I should be glad that it's taken this long for us to hit this particular road block, but it still sucks. And I can officially claim the title of Worst Mom Ever.
What happened, you ask? Here's the dirt. Minion 1 brings home a conduct card every Wednesday from school. I go to sign it this morning and see notes from both teachers about missing homework. TWO WEEKS OF MISSING HOMEWORK. I saw red. Seriously. That kid has been telling us for three weeks that he's had no homework because of testing at school. Made sense to me, since that was the policy at the minions' old school, and this one is in the same district.
That was stupid of me. I should have known. This school doesn't mess around with homework. Ever. So why would I think that they would actually cancel homework because of testing? Stupid, stupid me. Basically my kid has been lying to me for almost three straight weeks and I had no clue. None. Zero. Zilch.
HOW STUPID CAN I BE?? I've had this conversation for years with parents of my students. Kids lie, they all do, and it's just part of parenting, right? That's what I've always said - every kid lies at some point to try and see what they can get away with. Doesn't make them bad kids and doesn't make parents bad parents.
So why in the heck do I feel like the Worst Mom Ever?
Because, that's why. I tend to look in the mirror whenever there's a problem, no matter what kind of problem it is. Raining today? What did I do to cause that? Part of it is my ego getting in the way (since everything MUST be all about me, right?) and part of it is my self esteem cracking the whip (you MUST have done something to screw this up somehow). And that's a problem.
I was a stellar mom this morning. Take the homework issue in stride? Calmly talk it out? Right. Granted, I started out that way, but things escalated, I lost my temper, and completely blew the issue out of proportion. By the end of it I had unloaded all over the Spouse about how the real problem is my job and its long hours, and if I stayed home the minions would never turn in homework late, lie or fail to clean up their rooms when asked the first time.
That's total crap. They're kids. And boys. They're going to screw up now and then, and it isn't ALWAYS going to be my fault. But losing my temper IS my fault and that's where I am feeling the guilt today. And where I also unloaded on the Spouse, saying that if it weren't for my job I wouldn't be so stinkin' tired, nasty and crabby. Which may be partially true.
I'm dropping the ball all over the place. Parenting, work, spouse, home - it's been a crapshoot this week. We haven't gotten home before 8:00 yet. My grand weekend plan? Forget it - not this week. I'm doing good to remember to take out my contacts before I pass out in the bed, usually by 9.
Somebody throw me a bone here. Or a floatie. Because I feel like I'm drowning and the shore is nowhere in sight. Mayday!!